Selasa, 16 Juli 2013

Entah kenapa kita jadi SELALU ngebahas itu...

Tau apa yang selalu dibicarakan wanita ketika mereka berkumpul? Jawabannya bisa apa saja. Tapi ada satu bahasan yang hampir selalu saya dan teman-teman saya obrolin ketika lagi ngumpul. Awalnya saya tidak pernah sadar, sampai ada teman saya yang lain berkomentar mengenai hal itu.

Jadi apa yang saya dan teman-teman bicarakan?
Jawabannya sangat konyol. Yang kita bicarakan adalah 'cowo'. hahaha. Tapi jangan salah sangka. Kita bukan ABG lhoo. Jadi yang kita bahas bukan kakak kelas cool berambut keren yang jago main basket. Jelas topik yang kita bahas jauh lebih 'mature'. Walaupun memang usia kita masih sekitar 17an (Nyilang jari).

Cowo yang kita bicarakan pastinya pacar-pacar kita sendiri (plus selingkuhan kalo ada). Every time we get together in all kind of situation, our boyfriend is at the top of our mind to be talking about. Dan Kalopun itu bukan tentang pacar-pacar kita, pasti bahasannya gak akan pernah jauh-jauh melenceng dari cowo, which is, We talk about our dream husband. Yes. our dream husband. Saya jadi bertanya-tanya sendiri, apa obrolan macam gini wajar buat saya dan teman teman saya??
Hemmmmm... intinya sih, Emang pada ngebet pingin dikawin aja kayaknya.. (tepok jidat)

Di setiap pertemuan selalu ada babak baru dari cerita cinta masing-masing kita.. oh ya, sampai lupa. Kita itu siapa ya? kita itu terdiri dari saya dan tiga teman saya. Jadi bayangkan di setiap kita lagi bareng, lagi makan siang, lagi di kostan, atau lagi apapun itu, selalu ada 4 cerita bersambung yang penuh warna dan lika liku (eits)

Dan dari cerita bersambung itulah lahir sebuah kalimat yang cukup membuat saya merenung. Merenung, karena tidak menyangka kata-kata sedalam itu bisa terlontar dari mulut saya dan mulut teman saya. Jadi ceritanya, sekitar lebih dari dua bulan yang lalu, di sabtu siang yang sangat malas, karena tidak menemukan kerjaan yang bisa dikerjakan dan makanan yang bisa dimakan. saya dan teman saya berinisiatif untuk mengunjungi mall terdekat dari kostan.

Maka dari itu dengan sigapnya saya dan teman saya segera bersih-bersih, ganti baju, dan cus menuju halte busway. Ini yang paling asik dari busway di hari sabtu siang, sepi dan ga ngantri. Beda banget sama jam-jam pulang kantor. Di dalem busway saya dan teman saya hanya membicarakan tentang menu makan siang, cuaca yang mendung, nyerempet sedikit ke kerjaan, intinya belum ada bahas-bahas soal cowo atau sejenisnya. Yah ini rekor, akhirnya pertama kalinya kita bisa menendang keluar bahasan tentang cowo dalam pikiran kita.

Lalu akhirnya sampai di shelter busway tujuan. Pas di sebrang mall. Di perjalanan menuju mall, ga ada obrolan yang penting untuk diceritain, karena memang kita ga ngobrol apa-apa. Lalu kemudian kita sampai di pintu mall dan melangkah masuk.

Seperti biasa, yang namanya cewek, kalo ke mall, walau tujuan cuman mau cari makan, pasti mampir kanan-kiri dulu. Objek utamanya sudah pasti kalo ga toko tas ya toko sepatu. Dan hasil dari mampir kanan kiri itu pun sudah pasti: saya dan teman saya berjalan keluar toko sambil ngelus dada. 'Sabar-sabar.. tunggu sampe gajian...' huhhhhh... dan ujung-ujungnya ketika gajian, sudah pasti barang yang dibelinya justru barang yang lain-lain. Rrrrrhhhh.. dan setelah barangnya kebeli baru sadar, barang itu bahkan ga ada dalam daftar belanja. Why shopping list never work for us (girl)? why???

Okelah... setelah selesai lihat sana-sini dengan ga beli apa-apa. Kita jalan ke Food court yang kebetulah baru kali itu kita makan di situ. yah.. menu makanannya banyak, mulai asian sampai europan. yak, inilah alternatif untuk menyalurkan nafsu belanja yang tidak kesampaian: makan sebanyak mungkin. Yaaa sebenernya emang kita kelaparan aja siii...

Jadi kita pun makan, saya makan satu mangkuk besar tomyam dan teman saya makan nasi hainan. Ketika makan, yang kita bicarakan hanya komentar tentang makanan masing-masing. Lalu kemudian ehhh teman saya itu bahas pacarnya. Baiklah dan pembahasan pun dimulai...

Teman saya mulai bercerita tentang hobinya dan sang pacar untuk berwisata kuliner. Sayangnya, hampir 90 % tempat makan yang teman saya sebutkan saya tidak tahu (malu deh). Jadi, yang saya bisa lakukan ketika mendengar ceritanya adalah berkata:
oh ya?
waaa
emmm

Makanan habis, cerita masih bersambung. Saya dan teman saya angkat kaki ke tempat selanjutnya, masih tempat makan atau cemal cemil lebih tepatnya. Disanalah tempat lahirnya kalimat menakjubkan yang sampai saat ini masih berputar-putar dalam pikiran saya.

Saya dan teman saya duduk di sebuah sofa empuk dengan meja bundar kecil yang di atasnya terdapat segelas youghart putih yang dikelilingi taburan cookies, cocholate chip, dan agar yang warna-warni. Waktu itu sudah jam dua lewat. Suasana siang mendung dan hampir hujan. Cerita bersambung di mulai lagi.

Kali ini ceritanya bukan seputar kuliner lagi. Teman saya mulai membahas hal-hal rumit dalam hubungannya dengan sang pacar. Masalah ideologi dan persepsi. Dia menjelaskan bagaimana ia tidak suka sang pacar dengan ideologinya. Bagaimana dua pikiran yang amat berbeda itu bisa sampai menganggu ketahanan sebuah hubungan. Bagaimana ketahanan hubungan teman saya dan pacarnya saat itu tergoncang, karena perbedaan persepsi masing-masing dalam memandang satu hal.

Bahasan semakin menarik.
Soal menyatukan dua pikiran yang berbeda. Ketika dua persepsi sudah saling bertolak belakang, akan muncul anggapan: kita berbeda dan saya tidak butuh kamu lagi. Dan di saat itu hubungan bisa berakhir.

Saya tidak butuh kamu lagi. Dari kalimat itulah muncul pemikiran-pemikiran saya dan teman saya mengenai suatu hubungan.

Beberapa orang beranggapan hubungan akan bertahan karena berlandaskan rasa sayang yang dari rasa sayang itu  muncul rasa saling membutuhkan satu sama lain. So the lover will stick together no matter what happens. Tapi apa jadinya jika suatu saat lingkaran saling membutuhkan itu putus? Ya? really... women these day are so independent and strong. Some don't even need a man to afford their life. That even make some of them decide to never have one serious relationship with man. Independent women. That's one reason it's so easily for woman to walk out of some man's life if things just feel don't going on so well for her.

See? Rasa saling butuh itu sudah gak berlaku lagi untuk para perempuan modern yang mandiri. Jadi, apa inti dari menjalani suatu hubungan? di siang menjelang sore hari itu, obrolan rumit dan panjang saya dan teman saya akhirnya berujung pada satu kesimpulan.

Hubungan yang terjalin dikarenakan saling membutuhkan satu sama lain, itu sudah biasa. Yang luar biasa adalah, ketika kamu memiliki kekuatan dan kemampuan untuk hidup tanpa dirinya tapi kamu lebih memilih untuk menjalani hari dengannya, menghabiskan waktu dengannya, menjadi pacarnya, terlebih lagi pasangan hidupnya, mendengarkan semua ocehannya, berargumen dengan semua alasan-alasan bodohnya, Lucu.. Kamu lakukan semua itu karena kamu menyukainya dan kamu menikmatinya.


Cheers.
Di suatu cafe di sabtu siang yang aneh yang entah kenapa kita jadi SELALU ngebahas itu.
Thank's for the sharing girl!!


      
   

   

Senin, 03 Juni 2013

Doa

Ya Rabb,
Engkau yang maha tau,
Engkau yang maha lihat
Tanpa aku lontarkan, tentu Engkau tau maksud dalam hatiku
Bahkan pasti engkau lebih tau
Apa mungkin maksud hati ini salah bagimu?
Apa mungkin pikiran ini masih keliru?
Atau apa mungkin baik menurutku adalah salah bagimu?
Ya Allah,
Segera tunjukkan padaku apa yang baik bagiku
Buatlah nyata bagiku perbedaan antara yang benar dan salah
Jangan biarkan diri ini terlalu lama salah sangka
Lindungilah hati kecil ini dari bisik-bisik menyesatkan
Aku hanya menunggu petunjuk dariMu
Jangan butakan aku ketika Engkau datang padaku
Dan jangan pernah Engkau pergi terlalu jauh
Tetaplah di sini Ya Rabb,
Aku selalu butuh pertolonganMu

Senin, 27 Mei 2013

Diamlah! Tunggu dan Dengar

Diamlah!
Mendiamkan diri saat banyak sekali kata yang ingin diucapkan.
Mendiamkan diri saat banyak sekali yang mesti dikoreksi, saat berbeda pendapat, saat merasa benar.
Sulit? ya pasti sulit
Tapi diam itu emas
Walau banyak yang salah mengartikan
Diam itu artinya tidak tahu, tidak mengerti, atau tidak tertarik
Padahal ketika diam adalah saat
untuk...  
Tunggu,
Menunggu hingga benar selesai apa yang ingin disampaikan 
Menunggu hinga benar jelas duduk perkara suatu persoalan
Menunggu sembari menyusun kata-kata yang akan dilontarkan,
terlebih lagi saat menunggu kita bisa
Dengar
Dengarlah kata perkata yang terucap
Dengarlah dengan itu kita telah membuka hati kita
Dengarlah dengan itu kita telah menyimak
Dengarlah dengan itu kita mengerti dan memahami
Dengarlah dengan itu kita terhidar dari salah paham

Karna itu, jangan buang waktu, tenaga, dan pikiran dengan berbicara tanpa henti
Karna itu, hanya kata-kata yang berkualitaslah yang memiliki kekuatan untuk mempengaruhi
Karna itu, lebih banyak mereka yang terjebak justru pada kuantitas kata-kata namun semuanya tanpa makna
Karna itu, mulailah dari sekarang untuk
Diam, Tunggu, dan Dengar

AI

It's been a while





HALLO
it's me again
let's start again


Kamis, 24 Januari 2013

Bout my Dad,

My Dad,

I have a thousand words to describe him
an endless story to build
believe it, I don't get a long with my dad too once,
for being so arrogant, so angry, so bossy, so protective
and to be so much lecture me
so I have to listen to the same advise again and again
and believe it too, well that advises who making me now
but he is too so funny, innocent, and pure
sometimes making some jokes that I don't understand
but I do trying my best to catch up the story and laugh at it at the end
well, my dad
with his all wise words which sometimes feel so cliche to me   
and lately I realize, those words planted in my brain, 
naturally building my own perception
naturally I began to think like him
and my dad, the one who will always see me the same way
from the day that I was born
to him I'm still that fragile his little girl
my Dad, with all his worry bout me
which sometimes didn't seem so important to me
but it is really successfully protect me from harm
his pray, his hope, his rule, his advise
it's everything I need to keep my life in circle
to keep me think twice before I act
to keep me alert in any situation
but I never give enough time to thank to him

I just believe that he would understand
yap, and he is always understanding
I thank God I was raised in the arms of a man like him
a man who has a charming heart
a man who can lead the family
a man who know how to take the responsibillity
a man who will be the first who stand for me
a man who will take the very front line to protect me
a man who will take all the risks for his little grils
a man who I feel very thankful to be raised by
dad, I thankful I have you
and
dad,
thank you very much.

-Your little girl- 

Kamis, 06 Desember 2012

The last three superman

The ninth superman, is the learner. He is quite new to this job -just like me-. still fresh and green. but has really big will in learning. his achievement is impressive, -in my opinion-. has a nice personality, I do learn a lot from him. He is a good friend for sharing.
the tenth superman, is the halfway superman. he is the newest member of the club. Less speak and look calm. has a very funny expression on his face, which is -no expression-
the eleventh superman is the stupid one. yap, he is stupid. and people likes him because his pure blood of stupidity. he is the real clown of the team whose make everybody laugh till death (off course this is just hyperbole, but he is real funny).

one similarity of the eleven superman is they are all funny people. I am blessed to get to know them. and so here goes the story....    

Rabu, 05 Desember 2012

11 Superman

It doesn't really matter now, if the sky full with black cloud. It has became a common view since it has been rainy day from last week. ya, this town had finally gave up on the heat of long sunny day. Now, the window blurred by rain drop And grey has become the aura of this week of December.

This is my December, one last month in year that has never been 'my year'. what a 2012, when a lot of things happen to me, my life. And start from this year, my life has never been the same anymore. this is the year when I actually had a taste to be a grown up young woman. however, some part of me denied that I am now 22. I still feel like I'm just getting to 17 and wanted to stay there, like forever?

No matter what, I can never be 17 anymore.

What I do for life for now, is pretty simple. Just trying to stick around and catch up the rhythm of these some banking stuff and got paid by doing nothing except studying and studying. And for that studying those stuff, I have to be sent away, far away from home, to the very east of Java. So, I am here now, in the city where the heat is unreasonably high, where the sky is freaking blue, and rain season only happen in December.

No matter what, I already decided that I like this city.

This city is quite big. Maybe the third big City in the country. Doesn't has many nature scenery, but has some more shopping mall than other city. I got nothing more to tell about this city, since I rarely going out too far from my beloved temporary house. So what I can tell is just some short environment where I live.

I have been spending my every night in a room no. 208 in 2nd floor of one simple house. Off course the room number is not represent how much room that the house belong. Actually there are just 8 room in the 2nd floor. instead of me and my roommate, there some other girls who live in the house too. There are 8 girls who rent the room just like I. we're all stay at 2nd floor, while the 1st floor is just for the Ma'm and her family whose own this house.

To be honest, I like the house and the people who live there too.

It is not like my life is just perfect. No it's not. I'm trying to make it that way by thinking that way.
 
It is true, that this is my last month of 2012, and also my last month in this city. The time is really run so fast, though I am not running. I stay still where I stand now. I'm just standing. Going no where. Then when its getting close to an end, I caught my self surprised, it has already 5 month since the first time I touched down the land of Surabaya.

I spend most of my time in this small cubicle at the 4th floor of a building which i called office. Off course this office is also just for temporary. So what I do now is just the same like what I do yesterday. And also will be the same for what I do tomorrow. Heh, what a boring life isn't it? well that's life. we do a lot of same things day by day, got bored by it, but still have to do it. The work is not interesting thing to tell about. But my friends at work is quite unique thing, so I can build a story about it.

For 22 years, I had been met and known with a lot of people with so many different character. Each of them is very unique and particular. Like people which I get to know in relatively this short time, my office-mates. most of them are men, age 23-mid 40. have a nice physically appearance, good sense of humor, and good capability of doing their work as a account officer.

I once told that account officer is equal super man (for bankers perspective only). So, I just gonna call them the 'super man'.

So, there are 11 super man I know in my life.
The first one, let's call him Guru. this one is the smartest superman of all the 11. I can tell by the first time I shake hand with him, this one has a humble personality, warm, and so pure heart. My first impression is quite right. But the fact uncover lately bout the guru is really worth laughing for. I'll tell bout that too. but before i have to go to..
The second superman, let's call him luckman. This one, well he's the clown of the team. usually the type who 'live up the party'. Not really smart, but he is very lucky. And cause of that x factor, he is one of three superman who have the higher grade than other. Even higher grade than guru.
The third superman is a fisherman. Well, he is not really fisherman. But he do love fishing. This superman has good capability of building relationship. very nice and funny person.
The fourth superman is the silent killer. from the 11 superman, he is the most silent and serious. It's a bit hard to get close to him cause that personality. He is more often silent than speak, but once he speak, his words will kill you in a sudden. that's why i named him silent killer.
The fifth superman is the old player. the old player is the oldest superman from the 11. He's the most religious. A bit bossy, bothering other looks like his favorite thing, but he is the most trusted man by big boss.
the sixth superman is a child man. an adult who loves naruto, blade, animation. he is 28-something man but his act a bit childish. He likes hanging out and gathering with friends.
the seventh superman is the prayer. maybe, he is the most discipline prayer. When time to pray come, he will come out from his cubicle then with a loud voice told everybody in the room to do the pray together.
the eighth superman is the charm spreader. Honestly, he is not that charm for me. but still he looks good overall. he is pretty smart, a man who is very logic, like to talk a lot, and off course like to talk a lot to girls.
the ninth superman...

to be continued...